Real Happiness

 Real Happiness is a relative term, differs for everyone. What is common for all may be the feelings of calmness, peace and enthusiasm. Real happiness is the most important to make our lives good.

There are different meanings of happiness, expressed in the quotes about it. Someone says “Whoever is happy will make others happy”, “Real happiness doesn’t come from getting everything you want. It comes from sharing what you have with people who matter” and “The real happiness is self-contentment”. These are some quotes about real happiness. All present some colour of this term and shows the depth of it.

Happiness is a human construct or an abstract idea with no equivalent to actual human experience. Happiness is a state of human experience, which is found occasionally, not constantly. It is an internal feeling that makes a person cheerful in a certain time period.

The cause of happiness varies from person to person. Some feel happy about having some good remarks from others, some on buying a new car, some on eating a favourite food. Some on seeing the play, some on listening music of interest and some by making others happy. It is also possible that one thing is valued by someone but not by others.

In our common life, we can have some ways to make ourselves happy, for example, be with those people who make you smile, expect good by being positive, do things you love or at least do your tasks in your desirable ways, to your heart, push yourself not others, find purpose in your life and make others happy.

Our attitude towards life can make us happy or unhappy. Positive attitudes lead towards positive feelings. Those who remain calm do not find faults in themselves or in others usually remain happy. Every event, every situation and every person have different aspects and can be taken differently. Those who always see the dark or grey area of everything, remain unhappy and vice-versa.

Helping others can make you happy. Those help others by their behaviour, attitude, talk and gestures remain happy. It gives you a feeling of satisfaction. The base of establishing giving others welfare institutes lies in the real happiness, that can be found after providing comfort and relief to others. It can give you real self-satisfaction, resulting in happiness.

If we lead such a life that revolves around ourselves can give us satisfaction and happiness. These are definitely a noble cause in our lives and values a lot. If we want to have a true kind of happiness in our lives, we must adopt any purpose before us like adding something valuable to our surroundings. That can create a positive change by providing something good to others that make them happy.

Motivation is the Fuel for Success

 Motivation is the presence of purpose and desire to achieve any goal in life. It works like the fuel for success and is crucial for doing our jobs in our daily routine. It has the actual power to make our lives good to best. 

Motivation is important, simply to lead our lives. It makes our life meaningful, colourful and successful. It requires to start anything new, with positivity. To generate new ideas, then to set our goals, to focus on our goals and to stay positive, motivation works as the force for all these. If we are not motivated, we are not able to achieve any big achievement. 

How can we keep ourselves motivated? There are some tips that can help:

1. If we do things, we are not interested in, and those are boring, we lose our interest in them. So, try to choose those tasks, you like, if possible. If you don’t have any choice, then try to perform that task in such a way, that creates some interest in it or do it in your own way. You also can try to take an interest in it by knowing it in some detail.
2. Try to make a priority list of the tasks, you have to perform. Then do one task at one time, with proper care and interest. This will increase the speed and quality of work. This will help us to maintain our motivational level.
3. Understand the importance of the task, you are going to perform. This will increase and maintain our motivational level.
4. If your task is very big and exhaustive, it can also lose your motivation. Then try to divide it into small, doable portions. In this way, we can increase our motivational level by having a sense of accomplishment in completing one part of our bigger task.

By using these tips, we can enhance our motivational level which provides the base for our performance. If we are motivated, we can do many such things, which seem impossible without motivation. The famous people, including great spiritual leaders, innovative scientists, realistic poets and writers, sincere teachers, successful professionals and devoted students, definitely have a high degree of motivational level. Though their type and source of motivation will be different, but definitely that was there.

Motivation is a blessing of God. Those who are blessed with it, do something good and valuable. It gives us the force and strength to do miracles. All messengers presented a unique example of the divine force which made their supreme task, of changing the lives of mankind, easy for them. Then we also have some more examples of national leaders who changed the fortune of their nation like Quaid-e-Azam, who achieved a very difficult goal, despite of extremely negative circumstances his weak health. All who achieved something in this world, definitely have some strong motivation behind it.

It does not mean that motivational success is only nature-gifted. It can be developed in ourselves by using some techniques:

1. Praying and meditation can help us to develop or increase our motivational level.
2. A good night sleep can help.
3. Healthy nutrition also can help by enhancing the body and mind activity, which is a must.
4. Reading of the biographies of famous people, to know how they defeated the odds in their lives.
5. Reading motivational quotes. 
6. Helping others in their difficult situation always uplift our motivational level.
7. Making a priority list of our lives according to our choices. This will help in achieving those tasks according to their importance.

We must try to have some noble aim in our lives, beyond our own life interests. This may be helpful in making our lives more meaningful and beneficial for our society.     

Patience in Life

 Patience is a human quality that values a lot. It means to tolerate unfavourable circumstances with courage and positivity. Patience in life is inevitable to make life good to best.

Human life is very unpredictable and risky. Different kinds of circumstances can occur at any time. Patience enables us to analyze things and situations beyond their face value. Positive ones, having self-control, are calm, empathetic and patient. They are always relaxing and helpful to others. These qualities give them inner peace in difficult situations.

An impatient person is often restless, easily irritable and might not hesitate in saying things that can hurt other people’s feelings. This kind of attitude, if continue, can offend other people. In this way, we can lose our relations. On the other hand, a patient person behaves in a reasonable way and does not lose temper in critical conditions. This quality may increase his likeliness.

To achieve anything in life, cannot be easy without patience. Our education, career, place in family and society all require patience. There is no other way to achieve any desirable thing, without patience. All high positions require a long struggle with patience. We observe that to achieve any respectable position in this world, maybe academically, spiritually or professionally, we have to do hard work with patience. We see that Pablo Picasso, a great painter could earn 5 million in 30 seconds, after the practice of 30 years with patience. Hellen Keller, a great writer, who cannot see and hear, get this position only and only by working patiently.

In our daily lives, we have to use this quality many times. We have to develop our relations with love, respect with patience. We have to compromise in our many life situations and it can create a difficult scenario but with patience and self-control, we can deal with it successfully. It is observed that the results of this patient behaviour always pays back to you in another way.

A very important life situation, where patience is required is on roads. If we drive with care, according to the rules and regulations and patience, we can reach our destinations in time, without any psychological stress and risks to our safety. Back in 2003 when I was visiting someone in London and I was to take a local city train. I went to the station and saw a new ticket machine. As it was new for me and there was no one at that time so I took some time to read the instructions. By chance I looked back there were about 12 to 15 people standing and waiting for their turn. Not a single soul said anything. They all were watching. So I asked the man standing back for assistance which he did very nicely and I apologized to the group that I had taken their time and thanked them for the same. This is patience. If we do our daily tasks with patience, by making a queue and priorities, it will look good and will save our precious time as well.

There can be a lot of negative events in one’s life. All demand different types of behaviours. Those events which are extremely sad and not in our control can only be tolerated with patience. It will be better to accept the will of our creator, as soon as we can. If this acceptance will be with patience, it will affect us in a positive way and will be helpful in adjustment.

Some other critical events occur continuously, sometimes for a long time. Some people have to face extreme financial issues, that make them so much disturbed. In these conditions, one has to do an effort to earn something by doing some job, but patience is very necessary.  Another time that is very critical and requires effort with patience is any serious health issue. If the patient himself and his caretakers focus on treatment with patience, results in a positive way.

It is also observed, this quality runs in families and generations. Usually, if parents are patient, their children grow with this quality. They learn how to behave in difficult situations. So, we must try to face problematic and critical life situations with prayers, courage and patience. In this way, we will be making our lives more peaceful, successful and helpful for our loved ones.

Helping Others

 Human beings are the best creation of The Creator of this universe. He can do everything in its reach and capacity. He is the best well-wisher of his own but can also do a lot for helping others, to make life from good to best.

We are born to please our creator and more than this to take care of other people around us; our parents, siblings, relatives, neighbours, friends and other fellows respectively. To help does not only means financial help, it may include help by providing some assistance, by giving some tip or guidance, by supporting morally, by backing someone in trouble or by saying some positive thing in a good way.

Superficially, it seems very small things but in fact, these are so valuable. If a person in any difficult situation is supported by any means, it becomes a blessing for that person. This small help becomes precious.

To refrain others from doing bad or behaving negatively is also included in the ways of help. It is also possible that the person will feel may feel somewhat bad, but at the end of the day, he will feel obliged. This will provide valuable help to the person in the problem.

For making life really valuable, it will be very positive to have an aim in your life. Everyone leads his life for himself. He tries his best to fulfil his needs, have some savings for the future and have some fun in his life and the life of his loved ones. A real satisfaction can be achieved to have some noble aim in life, that is beyond his own interests. It may include some welfare tasks, like providing some basic facilities to those, who don’t have, establishing some free or with less fee educational institution, providing free medical assistance, providing free or cheap residence to people in need and providing easy jobs and help in earning for leading a respectable and independent life. This kind of helping others is very much required in all societies and especially in a society like ours, where a lot of people are living a very terrible life with a very small income.

If this system can be provided on a governmental level, it will be the best. If it will not possible, then the responsibility of people, who are blessed is multiplied. We all must think about any possibility of helping others in our circle, to contribute something good in our society. We can provide pure water, any type of shelter by implanting a tree, by installing a shade in sunny or rainy weather or by speaking gently with people in need.

A society can be improved when this trend of helping others will be there. Loving and sympathetic relations among people can be established instead of extreme imbalance and lives full of tensions. Helping others will also boost you in society as a caring person. This attitude is good to best for all.

 

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Effectiveness of Catharsis

 Catharsis means to release or cleanse internal negative emotional pressure by telling someone about your feelings. It can help a lot. The effectiveness of Catharsis is valid for making the feelings from good to best.

The basic purpose of Catharsis is to bring about some kind of positive change in one’s life. It involves both a powerful emotional component in which strong emotions are felt and then expressed in an honest way. It also involves a cognitive component in which the individual gains new insight into his issues. This insight can affect somewhat negatively because discovery can initiate some un-comforts, but at the end of the day, it will prove good.

This term is basically used by Aristotle, who used catharsis after watching theatre plays, to release their tension. He used to treat people in trouble with the help of this technique. It was considered a fruitful way.

In daily use, we observe that sometimes we feel tension due to some events that create troublesome effects on our lives and result in awful feelings. If we share these feelings with someone, it releases this pressure to some extent. It has a therapeutic effect. By using this way of behaving, people feel relaxed.

In psychotherapy, it is used very frequently. It is proved to be a very effective tool in many therapeutic interventions. By using this, a serious type of patients used to feel better and only with the help of it they begin to improve.

Catharsis is not only a psychological term, it is used in the same way, for releasing one’s emotions. Usually, it is used by women in different ways for example through poetry, through writings or through different forms of art like painting.  In this way, a woman can express her feelings in an indirect way, which is more comfortable and acceptable in society. It can release her feelings of suppression and resulting anxiety.

It is usually understood that it is only or mostly used by women because of their passive and suppressed position in society. In fact, this is not true. It is not limited to women. Men in a society, where they are not free to do many things and are suppressed by the upper, also use catharsis as a remedy for their sufferings. They also release their tensions in positive or negative ways.

What happened when catharsis is not possible? It is observed that different kinds of effects are there in this situation. It is possible that when a person, who is in a negative situation and don’t find anyone with whom he/she can share his or her feelings, he can go to a condition of stress.  Women can go through depression or it can result in some physical ailment like hypertension or sugar. Men can become trouble creating figures in society or can go into depression as well.  

There must be opportunities for catharsis in all societies. People must provide the time to others to tell their sufferings. There must be the liberty to express feelings through any acceptable for all. There must be some professionals, who can provide this psychological help in an easy way. So, the tensions and sufferings of people can be released at least. In an ideal society, there must be an effort to decrease the discomfort level of people, by providing them possible facilities and benefits. The best way of catharsis is hidden in friendship. When one feels discomfort he/she can talk with friends to find out some way of relief.

Savings are Blessings

 Reliance to Allah the Almighty is a compulsory part of belief. He asks to save for future, saving are blessings making our lives continuously from good to best.

There must be a balance between income and expenditure. If our expenditures are more than our income, it would be a debit situation, which is problematic, in many ways. If there is a balanced relation between our income and expenditure, it is good and satisfactory. If there is some money remaining after expenditure, it is our savings. This is crucial for every person, family, and country.

Income, however, of the family or of the country is important to run it. Those who use all assets carefully and save something for future needs. The future is always unforeseen. So, we must be farsighted, to some extent. To fulfill the demands in the future, we must have some savings for those issues to deal with.

Establishing a house or a country definitely requires money and assets and saving is compulsory for all. Extravagance and extra expenditures can destroy the way to progress. To increase the pace of progress, the development of different institutions like schools, hospitals, parks, roads, scientific labs, research institutions, and effective infrastructures are required. These cannot be managed without economic support. 

Everyone must have a priority list with him. On a personal level, it would be somewhat different than on a governmental level. There must be a priority list everywhere. If this list is not made intelligently and wisely, it can harm a lot. Wrong priorities can demolish the whole system. So, we must be very conscious and careful in this way. If we give priority to superficial and fictitious things, they will definitely be neglected or given less importance.

It is a famous saying “Always prepare for the worst”. In individual or national lives, negative events can occur anytime like any natural disaster, any economic crisis, a sudden attack of some disease or any other troublesome condition, created by others. So, we have to prepare for ourselves on a personal or national level. It is a must to survive effectively. If we are well prepared for all these possible negative events, we will survive with dignity. All these disaster management needs savings. For this farsightedness will play a vital role but prior savings are crucial.

To achieve this safe condition, simplicity will play an important role. If we will utilize our budget, on an individual or national level on superficial matters, then vital issues must be neglected and saving must be a challenge. So, simplicity in living can help a lot. 

Self-reliance is a very important quality, which will help in establishing not only self-respect but self-determination as well. If we are not self-reliant, we have to depend on those who are supporting us. Then we will not be free in our decisions. This condition can be very harmful not only on an individual level but more dangerous on a national level. So, savings can save us from these negative effects. Living a simple life is far better than living a lavish life with the help of others.

Helping others, who are in need, is always important as an individual or a nation. If we have something extra only and only then we can be in a position to help others. In a system, where there is a culture of helping others, nobody will be in an awful condition. To act as an active and positive role in the system requires having something in our pocket, something extra.

We can enjoy our lives more with savings in our hands. If we are hand to mouth, we will always be in a state of trouble.  The people or nations, who save something on a regular basis, can enjoy their lives in a better way. If we have something in our account, we can enjoy some important events in a better way. We can feel relaxation and happiness by having some savings with us. We must adopt this ability in ourselves as an individual and a nation to have a better and peaceful life.

Spare The Rod And Spoil The Child

 Spare The Rod and Spoil The Child. Although this looks very harsh, it is a reality. All the etiquette and manners begin right from childbirth or even before that when the child is in the womb. All the good and bad are getting written on the new mind. Even in some localities where a child is brought up, beating a child is prohibited. This will make the child weak and coward. In some cases, it makes the child more vulnerable.

When one is moving forward there is some direction set and one goes through it. Along the path whatever you are doing, moving, walking, learning, teaching, whatever, there are some boundaries that keep you within the track of movement, so if you go beyond those boundaries some alarm is raised and you come to know that something is wrong is done. Likewise, when a child is grooming up he is grooming within some boundaries and must be kept within those limits and when he or she goes beyond that limit, like when you praise him a lot and the child becomes stubborn, then the child is punished depending upon the intensity of the incident. If only words can resolve the problem, ok, but sometimes slapping works and puts the child on track. When he does the same thing again he at once remembers that he was being punished by making this mistake, so he stops doing it and this is how he is raised becoming a disciplined citizen.

Sometimes you have to give a hard look at your child or someone when he makes some mistake. This will remind him that he was being punished for doing this so with a hard look he will remember and will stop avoiding doing it again.

It is never meant to beat a child to spoil him but to teach him to be on the right path. The punishment could be a light slap or canning. Even sometimes a word can do magic. When one child becomes disciplined and likewise another child and then following it makes children disciplined and the whole nation becomes disciplined. It is a very slow process but it is fruitful. It not only makes everyone disciplined, but it also makes you work positively and positive growth takes place. A timely punishment is also good. Punish the child there and then when he does a mistake, but when the time is gone punishing the child afterwards it does not work. On the other hand, when the child follows your instruction and remains good, appreciate him for his good behaviour. Growing a child is not as difficult as it is thought. If parents are good, who once was a child and were taught good behaviour, are now good parents, and teach their child good. Remember a child always copies you and not what you tell him to do. Or in other words, the child is a teacher who guides you. Always beating a child is also bad and must be taken care of.